|
I didn't bother to organize this page, so deal with it.
Yo momma's so fat, Dr. Martens had to kill 3 cows just to make her a pair of shoes.
Yo momma's so fat, when I said I wanted "Pigs in a blanket" she got back in bed.
Yo momma's so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her 5 years to live.
Yo momma's so fat, she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.
Yo momma's so fat, she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.
Yo momma's so poor, I saw her kicking a can down the street and when I asked what she was doin, she said, "moving."
Yo momma's so poor i saw her walking down the street with one shoe and I asked, "Did you lose a shoe?" And she said, "No. I found one."
Yo momma so ugly your grandparents paid another kid to play her in home movies.
Yo momma so skinny she could hang-glide off a Dorito.
Yo momma so skinny she could hoola-hoop through a cheerio.
Yo momma so skinny she could walk through a closed door.
Yo momma so skinny she has to wear a belt with spandex.
Yo momma so skinny she turned sideways and dissapeared.
Yo momma so skinny she has to make knots on her panty hose so that her knees can be seen.
Yo momma so skinny she uses suspenders for panties.
Yo momma so skinny she gotta run around in the shower to get wet.
Yo momma so skinny instead of calling her your parent, you call her transparent!
Yo' momma's so skinny, she uses Chapstick for deodorant
Yo' momma's so skinny, when she wears a red dress, people think she's a thermometer
Yo' momma's so skinny, she uses a tie for a blanket
Yo' momma's so skinny, if she had dreads, I'd grab her by the ankles and use her to mop the floor
Yo' momma's so skinny, I could blind-fold her with dental floss
Yo momma so old she got a senior citizen discount when movies were only a nickle.
Yo momma so old the old age home told her to talk to the morgue.
Yo' momma's so fat, she could sell shade!
Yo' momma's so fat, her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard!
Yo' momma's so fat, when she crosses the street, cars look out for her!
Yo' momma's so fat, she puts mayonnaise on aspirin!
Yo' momma's so fat, she shops for clothes in the local tent shop
Yo' momma's so fat, her ass has its own congressman
Yo' momma's so fat, when she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party!
Yo' momma's so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion!
Yo' momma' so fat, she's moving the Earth out of its orbit!
Yo' momma's so fat, I gain weight just by watching her eat!
Yo' momma's so fat, when she takes a shower, her feet don't get wet!
Yo' momma's so fat, when she comes down the stairs, she measures on the Richter scale!
Yo' momma's so fat, people use her dandruff as quilts!
Yo' momma's so stupid, if brains were dynamite, she wouldn't have enough to blow her nose!
Yo' momma's so stupid, she put on her glasses to watch 20/20!
Yo' momma's so stupid, she stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to say 'Go'!
Yo' momma's so stupid, she gave birth to you!
Yo' momma's so stupid, she tried to commit suicide by jumping out of the basement window!
Yo' momma's so stupid, she ran out of gas leaving Texaco!
Yo' momma's so stupid, she sold the house to pay the mortgage!
Yo' momma's so stupid, she told me to meet her at the corner of "Walk" and "Don't Walk"!
Yo' momma's so stupid, when I was drowning and yelled for a life saver, she said, "Cherry or grape?!"
Yo' momma's so stupid, her latest invention was a glass hammer!
Yo' momma's so stupid, she saw a billboard that said "Dodge Trucks" and she started ducking through traffic!
Yo' momma's so stupid, she was on the corner with a sign that said "Will eat for food!"
Yo' momma's so stupid, she got locked in Furniture World and slept on the floor!
Yo' momma's so stupid, she got shoved in an oven and froze to death!
Yo' momma's so stupid, she got locked in a meat locker and sweat to death!
Yo' momma's so stupid, she thinks fruit punch is a gay boxer!
Yo' momma's so stupid, she thinks Johnny Cash is a pay toilet!
Yo' momma's so poor, even her BOSS pants are unemployed!
Yo' momma's so poor, she has to take the trash IN!
Yo' momma's so poor, I went to her house and took down some cobwebs, and she said, "Who's tearing down the drapes?!"
Yo' momma's so poor, when I saw her rolling some trash cans around in an alley, I asked her what she was doing; she said, "Remodeling!"
Yo' momma was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage!"
Yo' momma's so poor, I came over for dinner and saw three beans on the table; I took one, and she said "Don't be greedy!"
Yo' momma's so poor, when I stepped on her door mat, she said, "Hey, you can't go upstairs!"
Yo' momma's so poor, I stepped on her skateboard and she said, "Hey, get off the car!"
Yo' momma's so poor, I walked into her house and swatted a firefly and she said, "Who turned off the lights?!"
Yo' momma's so poor, I went into her house and flushed a cockroach down the toilet and she said, "Hey, where'd Grandma go?!"
Yo' momma's so poor, I walked into her house, asked to use the bathroom, and she said, "Third tree to your right!"
Yo' momma's so poor, after I p*ssed in your yard, she thanked me for watering the lawn!
Yo' momma's so poor, when I asked what was for dinner, she pulled her shoelaces off and said "Spaghetti!"
Yo' momma's so poor, her face is on the front of a food stamp!
Yo' momma's so poor, when she heard about the last supper, she thought she had run out of food stamps!
Yo' momma's so poor, she got arrested for breaking the gum-ball machine because it didn't take food stamps!
Yo' momma's so poor, she puts food stamps in your penny loafers!
Yo' momma's so poor, when I ring the doorbell, she says "DING!"
Yo' momma's so poor, when I ring the doorbell, I hear the toilet flush!
Yo' momma's so poor, when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!
Yo momma so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.
Yo momma so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"
Yo momma so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!
Yo momma so fat the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts!
Yo momma so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.
Yo momma so fat she was Miss Arizona -- class Battleship.
Yo momma so fat she accidently got a 747 caught in her teeth.
Yo momma so fat she takes her shower at Niagara Falls!
Yo momma so black, she bleeds smoke.
Yo momma so black, she goes to a funeral naked and no one notices.
|
|
Yo momma's so hairy, she has afros on her nipples.
Yo momma's so hairy, you almost died of rug burn at birth.
Yo momma's so hairy, she's a stunt double for Chubaca in Star Wars.
Yo momma's so hairy, her breasts look like coconuts.
Yo momma's so hairy, she shaves with a weedwacker.
Yo momma's so hairy, she got a trim and lost 10 pounds.
Yo momma's so hairy, if I shaved her legs, I could supply wigs for the entire Hair Club for Men.
Yo momma's so hairy, she spread her legs and said, "We're going to Busch Gardens."
Yo momma's chest hair is so long, its growing all the way down to her dick.
Yo momma's so hairy, she shaved her ass and she disappeared.
|
Yo momma's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant she gets and estimate
Yo momma's so fat, at a restaurant when they give her the menu she replies " yes Please"
Yo momma's so fat, when she went to the beach Greenpeace tried to drag her back in the water.
Yo momma's so fat, when she went to get a water bed, they put a blanket across Lake Michigan.
Yo momma's so fat, when she sat on a rainbow, Skittle's fell out.
Yo momma's so fat, and you're so poor, when she comes in your house the tires pop.
Yo momma's so old, when she was young rainbows were black and white.
Yo momma's so old, when she was born, the Dead Sea was just getting sick.
Yo momma's so old, the key on Ben Franklin's kite was to her apartment.
Yo momma's so old, she has all the apostles in her black book.
Yo momma's so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
Yo momma's so old, she has an autographed bible.
Yo momma so fat that she broke a branch on the family tree
Yo momma so fat when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up
Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.
Yo momma so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop
Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued
Yo momma so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction
Yo momma so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of George Washington's nose
Yo momma so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views
Yo momma so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper
Yo momma so fat she uses a pillow case as a sock.
Yo momma so fat her blood type is ragu
Yo momma so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.
Yo momma so fat she stands in two time zones.
Yo momma so fat it takes her two trips to haul ass
Yo momma so fat she uses I-95 for a Slip 'n Slide
Yo momma so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
Yo momma so fat her belt size is equator.
Yo momma so old her social security number is 1
Yo momma so old she not only reads the Bible, she's mentioned in it.
Yo momma so old that when she was in school there was no history class
Yo momma so old her birth certificate says expired on it
Yo momma so old shes blind from the big bang
Yo momma so old powdered milk comes out of her breasts.
Yo momma so old the candles on her birthdays cost more than the cake.
Yo momma so old she remembers the Grand Canyon when it was a ditch.
Yo momma so old she drove a chariot to school.
Yo momma so old when she watches Juraissic Park, she reminisces.
Yo momma so old and fat she used dinosaur bones as toothpicks.
Yo momma's so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."
Yo momma's so ugly she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning.
Yo momma's so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."
Yo momma's so ugly they push her face into dough to make cookies.
Yo momma's so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower
Yo momma's so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.
Yo momma's so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck
Yo momma's so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
Yo momma's so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras
Yo momma's so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her
Yo momma's so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.
Yo momma's so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Damn, is it Halloween already?"
Yo momma's so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Yo momma's so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.
Yo momma's so ugly she made an onion cry.
Yo momma's so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . .for a quote!
Yo momma's so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!
Yo momma's so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!
Yo momma's so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn't date her!
Yo momma's so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!
Yo momma's so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!
Yo momma's so ugly the NHL banned her for life
Yo momma's so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints
Yo momma's so ugly people go as her for Halloween.
Yo momma's so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.
Yo momma's so ugly she scares the roaches away.
Yo momma's so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
Yo momma's so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
| |
| | |
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
